“Each man is good in his sight. It is not necessary for eagles to be crows.” ~Sitting Bull

    Decades ago, the idea of “keeping up with the Joneses” was popular. If the neighbors added a deck onto their house, you had to add a deck. If the neighbors got a swimming pool, you had to have a swimming pool. This, of course, only applied when the neighbor was making improvements. If a drunk neighbor drove his car through the back of the garage, following his example was optional.

    Today though, it's not so much trying to keep our property up with what the neighbor has, as it is keeping ourselves up with neighbors and friends. If a friend joins a health club to get in shape, we have to join one. If a neighbor becomes a vegan and protests against meat eaters, we join the cause. If an overweight relative joins one of the many diet groups that promises to help you lose a lot of weight (but offers no refunds when you gain it all back) you join too even though you are not that concerned about your weight.

    Following the example of your friends, neighbors and relatives isn't a bad thing, especially when they are going something beneficial like in the examples I listed, but there is a down side to it. If you personally see something about yourself that you desperately want to change, your chances of succeeding when you finally decide to do something about it are good. On the other hand, if you are trying to change just because your friend is, you are not very likely to succeed. If your friend is highly motivated to workout several times a week and really starts to gain muscle and look good, but can't really get into it and don't make muck progress, you are now likely to see yourself as a failure. And, after several attempts to be like somebody else and do what other do, or what others think you should do, and failing, you are likely to come to the conclusion that you simply lack self-discipline and can't change yourself. Then, when they is something about yourself that you want to change very badly, you may not even try because of those past failures.

    So if your friends and neighbors want to improve themselves, you can do it as well, but improve yourself in the way that you want to, that you are strongly motivated to do, rather than trying to be somebody else.