• Remember when someone driving in the left lane of the highway going 40 miles an hour and drifting onto the shoulder meant he was drunk? Now it means he's ordering a pizza on his cellphone.

• Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

• I'm just as guilty as everyone else in this country who spoils their pets.  It's not "raining cats and dogs" anymore.  Now it's "reigning cats and dogs".

An orange is a berry,
A tomato is really a fruit,
A peanut isn't a nut,
But nobody gives a hoot.